In a time where much feels out of our control, setting goals can improve our mental health by shifting our focus toward matters within our control and reminding us of our ability to affect change.
As we all know, the new year is a popular time to set goals in the form of New Year’s resolutions. However, the data shows that overwhelmingly, we’re unsuccessful at keeping these resolutions made with high hopes at the beginning of each year. These disappointing data don’t mean we’re all lazy or lack willpower; they only point to our need to better understand the psychology behind sustainable behavior change.
So if you or your clients have the intention of making some changes this year, here are a few helpful things to keep in mind.
Motivation doesn’t last, and it’s not a willpower problem
Year after year, the most popular New Year’s Resolutions made involve exercising more, eating healthier, losing weight, and saving money. The popularity of these ambitions points to the ubiquitous and relatable struggle behind them. A lot of people begin the year motivated to make a change once and for all, so what gets in the way? The disconnect lies in the fact that motivation in itself does not beget long-term behavior change.
Motivation helps give us the boost we need to complete tasks in the short term. Motivation isn’t intended to last an entire year, so don’t get down on yourself when you lose your passion for your goal a couple of weeks from now.
Use these behavior change strategies
Again, it takes more than motivation alone to achieve a long-term goal or make sustainable changes in our habits. Here are a few effective strategies for behavior change:
- Decrease friction for good habits; increase friction for bad habits.
- In other words, structure your environment to make it easy to do the things you want to do, and difficult to do the things you don’t want to do.
- Find an accountability partner and track your goals
- We’re much more likely to stick to our goals when we report our success or failure to someone else and keep track of our progress along the way.
- Start with easy goals
- A common mistake in goal-setting is that we aim too high. It’s okay to have lofty ideas about where you’d like to get to, but you have to start somewhere, and you’re a lot more likely to get started when that first step feels doable.
Check out our blog on hacking habits to learn more about the science behind sustainable behavior change.
Try some self-compassion
Often, our New Year’s resolutions are borne out of self-criticism or self-judgment: we’re too much this, we’re not enough that, and on and on.
Practicing self-compassion involves turning the kindness you have for others inward, especially when you are having a difficult time, when you make mistakes, or when you fail. It comprises 3 overarching components: self-kindness versus self-judgment (i.e., “difficulty is inevitable and I can accept this reality with self-kindness”); common humanity versus isolation (i.e., “all humans are imperfect, not just me”); and mindfulness versus over-identification (i.e., “I can be aware of my thoughts and emotions without over-identifying with them”).
When you start with self-compassion instead of self-criticism, you’re more likely to set realistic goals that are in line with your true values as opposed to your perception of what everyone else expects of you.
